Student Reflections: You First Client is You

[Throughout this academic year, Denver Law APALSA members will be writing blog posts about their own legal interests and journeys to share with the broader APABA community.] As the weather thankfully cools and law schools are back in session, I inevitably think about what the new school year will bring for both incoming 1Ls and returning students. As a 3L, I can't believe how fast time has flown and often find myself thinking about how the last two years have gone.

To that end, I wanted to share a piece of reflection, in the spirit of mentorship so well embodied by APABA Colorado attorneys.

The single best piece of advice I received for law school didn't come from a lawyer.

Instead, and most unexpectedly, it came from an undergraduate STEM professor who had previously never worked with a student with law school aspirations. I sat in his office, apologized for wasting his time, and nervously asked if he might consider writing me a recommendation letter for my law school application. He graciously agreed and, almost as an aside, commented something that no doctrinal class covers: the first client I would ever represent was myself.

At the time, it was just another line in the sea of advice I was drowning in before law school. But it's stuck, and over the last two years, I've come back to it again and again.

Everyone tells you that law school is exhilarating, challenging, exciting and stressful; an exercise in balance that no one ever strikes quite right. All this, I was mentally aware of.

However, I did not fully appreciate the hundreds of miniscule moments that test your nerve, disguised as opportunities:

The job posting that lists five requirements when you only meet three.

The out-of-town conference opportunity with APALSA when you'd only been on campus for three weeks and were still struggling to just keep up with the readings.

The stern professor's office hours when you're struggling with a legal doctrine and can't even formulate a question to express your confusion.

The invitation to represent the law school in a transactional competition, when you don't know what "negotiations" really means, other than fighting your toddler on whether he gets 2 apple sauce pouches or 1.

These instances are when I've leaned heavily on this advice. Advocating for yourself takes a variety of forms, but for me, chiefly, it came down to this: when the opportunities come, prepare the best you can and then ask to be in the room even when you aren't sure you're supposed to be there.

I really had to exercise that mindset when applying for a judicial externship with the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals. Though my sights are set on a transactional career and I had none of the litigation-heavy legal research and writing experiences sought by the judges, I didn't think my legal education would be complete without an up-close experience dissecting complex cases from a judge's perspective.

My first instinct was to talk myself out of applying entirely. But as I wrote my statement of interest to Chambers, I thought hard about what I would want another person to say when making my case (an attorney, perhaps)! I re-positioned myself as my own advocate.

So, I did my homework on Chambers, talked to various mentors and resources for advice, and put full efforts into the application and interview process, all while reminding myself that I had to ask for any opportunity I wanted. No one would magically recognize and select me if I didn't put my best foot forward and presented my own case.

This was counterintuitive to the "model minority" conditioning that I had grown up with, which taught me to keep my head down and wait for someone else to recognize my abilities on their own, never raising a fuss or drawing attention. Breaking through this conditioning is an ongoing, uncomfortable journey, but reframing myself as a client for whom I must advocate helps me push through that discomfort.

And that judicial externship? I was so fortunate to get my shot, and it was everything I could have wanted and more. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

All these little efforts of giving myself the boost ("if a client were in my position, what would I say,") have led to a very fulfilling and joyously varied law school experience so far. I hope to continue to exercise this muscle as I participate in a student clinic in my final year of law school, advocating for real clients in the local community.

My journey to become my own advocate remains ongoing, and probably always will. I still feel the old instinct to shrink from opportunities, or to hope someone else would psychically notice my efforts. But now, I try to take opportunities to put on my "advocate" hat and put my “client” in the best position possible.

My professor's line has stuck with me because it gave me a place to put the discomfort. I'm still figuring out what it means to be my own first client, and I hope this reflection may help other law students figure it out earlier than I did.

To that end: You are your own first client too!

Come prepared, don’t be afraid to venture into rooms you’re not sure you belong in, and advocate for yourself with the same rigor you'll one day bring to someone else's case.